In yesterday's Post said I was going to Have something Fall or Halloweenish in every post until The last day of October. So here is my fun stuff for today. Monday For Family home evening we had our favorite Fall treat. Carmel Apples My kids love them and they are so easy and fun to make just take 1 pkg of Carmel's(I like Kraft) Fallow the package instructions for heating. Then coat the Apples and if you like roll them in nuts M&M's Cookie crumbs or what ever you like. Place in fridge to cool then enjoy!!
Ok now I have to tell you a funny about Kissing. So last night I was with my Beehives from church aged 12 to 13 we had been shooting guns with the young men that are the same age. After we shot a few rounds they started a firer and we roasted marshmallows and had smores. As we were getting ready to leave one of the 13 year old girls said hey Sister Wilderness can I ask you a question I said sure she said is is ok if you kiss a boy before you are 16? I was a little caught off guard and said just what kind of kiss do you plan on doing. She said ya know a sweet kiss where you press your lips and linger a moment, relived that that was the type of kissing she was talking about I said well I am going to tell you you should definitely not be kissing anybody until you are at least 16 or older or until your married for that fact. Our church standards are we encourage the girls and boys not to date until age 16. I then was prompted to talk about it a little more . I said girls as your leader and a mom I am going to tell you to fallow the standers of the church. Yet rember I once was young too. I know how it feels to want that first kiss. So my advice to you is rember that yeah it might seem harmless but if you start at such a young age you have nothing to look forward too and you start wanting more. At first it will be a kiss then it will be a kiss with tongue then holding each other closer, then you will think it's OK from you to let him touch your breast. I totally had them squirming at this point they were vowing that none of them would let it go that far. Some of the girls kept telling me how could they let a boy touch there breast when they don't even have any(I almost peed my pants at that remark). Then they asked me when I had my first kiss and there was no way I was going to get sucked into that trap. I quickly said I really don't remember. Which was the truth. Any hoo it was just surprising how candid some of the girls were about there feelings about dating or going out before they are 16. I was also suprised at how comfortable they were talking to me about something so personal. They all said they would never talk to there mothers like they were talking to me. I took that as a complement. I am very open with my own girls and for the most part I know they can talk to me about these type of things(believe me Shelley is more open than I wish she was sometimes LOL) but after last night it makes me think what things they feel they can't talk to me about.
My question of the day is how open are you with your kids when it comes to Romance kissing and even sex? My other question would be would it upset you if your kids were having this conversation with one of there adult church leaders or there friends parents?
9 comments:
Oh, the fires we have to put out in YW!
I feel like we have to be honest at a very young age. I have talked to both my 13 and 11 year olds about everything. We have also talked to our 8 year old about kissing and hugging.
I would rather kids hear about everything from my husband and I. However, if they feel more comfortable asking a church learder I think I would be ok with that. Thinking about it now, it may be a good idea to call the moms and let them know what things you discussed. I think they would appreciate knowing that their girls wanted to know and how much. That way as parents they know their girls are thinking of it. And I am sure they would appreciate your honesty.
Not having been in your shoes I just don't know for sure what I would do. LOVE YOU!!!
Well I think i'm pretty honest with my girls. They haven't started asking those kinds of questions yet. Thank goodness, they are still young! Anyways I feel you have to be very blunt these days. I have to agree with what elizabeth said on everything. You are a very easy person to talk to, and you make people feel comfortable! Yummy Carmel apples too, sounds really good.
When I found myself in that kind of situation, I've always given a brief answer and then directed the kid to their own parents for specifics. As a parent, I wouldn't be upset that a conversation like that happened when I wasn't around; however, I would very much appreciate hearing from the adult involved ("Hey, thought I'd let you know that this subject came up yesterday, and here's how I handled it... just wanted you to know that this subject is on your kid's mind"). Then the parent can talk it over with the kid if they think it needs to go further. (If it were me, I probably wouldn't tell my kid I'd heard from you... I'd just bring it up kinda casually one day. Otherwise the kid would be scared to tell you anything ever again!)
One of the most memorable lessons in young women's was on this subject, the leader was talking about french kissing and how you shouldn't do it until after you are married, it just opens up many other things. Whenever I see her I think of it. I think that when the time comes, if my kids don't feel comfortable talking to me, I hope that they have another adult that they can talk to. I would rather it be me, we were and are open with my family, but sometimes there are things that you think are too embarassing that you can't talk to your own mom about. I luckily had my grandma who I was more comfortable with. I guess that it depends on the parent. :)
Aaaahhh this takes me back when to my hubby and I were youth leaders for the high school group.
To answer your questions...our daughter is only 16 months old, but my hubby and I talk all the time about how we're going to tackle these conversations. So far, not so sure how we're going to do it...thank goodness we have some time still.
I would much rather be the one to inform our child on all the birds and the bees, but I wouldn't mind one bit if she talked to a church leader. I think it is great reinforcement to hear our morals and views coming from someone she would trust to talk to. I would hope and pray that if she did talk to someone other than us that it would be a trusted leader at our church.
~melody~
We are very open in our household. I think I prefer the kids to hear it from me but if I was informed about the conversation and how it came up, it would be fine. Kids don't always go to mom or dad for answers so I'd rather them be properly informed than ignorant.......
Sorry no children here, so I hope you don't mind if I avoid the kissing subject.
But may I ask, is that fraidy cat's body a green Christmas tree???
I think you gave those girls some great advice. That is why us leaders are there! Go, Beehive Advisors!
I try to be as open as possible w/ my boys (opposite of my parents, lessons learned). I want them to be able to come to me for anything or any question.
My Mom recently had told me that she was proud of my open-ness with my boys!
By the way, we too love the Charlie Brown movies (Thanksgiving and Christmas included).
Every year we look forward to the Christmas Story! That bunny outfit is to die for!
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