Monday, March 14, 2011

Memory lane

My cousin sent me a request to pray for a friend of hers who's daughter was diagnosed with a fatal brain cancer.
With this request was a video and the thoughts of the parents.
The mother and Father both stated how do you continue to live once you hear the words
"Your child is going to die"
This is every parent's worst fear.

Five and a half years a go I heard those very words.
Your Baby is diagnosed with a fatal chromosome defect.
Those words screamed out at me and almost sank me into a total black obsess.
Thanks to the light and love of our savior Jesus Christ I was Abel to face my greatest fear.

I gave birth to a beautiful little boy William Stonewall Wilderness.
We spent every day Cherishing his life.
I held him almost every minuet of his life.
Once in a while I would share him with other family members but I was greedy with my time with him.
I can say with out regret I was the best mother in the world to William.
I gave him my all I gave him my every thing and he did the same for me.

During this time I was so blessed with amazing friends and my selfless sister who took care of me and my family for 6 weeks.
After Williams death it was hard for me but I learned to lean on My Father in heaven.
I thought often of the death of our savior and the grief our Father in heaven had to endure.
He new my pain my sorrow and my grief.
I also learned what it meant to let God carry your burdens.
He did that often he also lightened the vise that was squeezing my heart and times I new the warmth I felt around my shoulders was his arms cradling me and giving me strength.

I can't say that I would ever want to experience this kind of pain again but I am glad I made it thru.
I can also say I faced my greatest fear and hope to never face it again as long as I live.

1 comment:

mike said...

I love you. Your grace over the past decade is astounding:)