Tuesday, August 17, 2010

My thoughts on the wedding {Part 1}

Friday the 13th Kadies wedding day.
We laughed when they told us the date just 3 months prior.
Yet at 8 am as Kadie was doing her hair for her wedding day I was caught with sweet emotion.
I could not believe the day had come that my daughter was getting married.
My friend J'anna sent me a text that read this has to be easier than giving birth to her.
J'anna you were wrong it was much harder.
It didn't strike me until yesterday when she Face booked me and asked "if her and the hubby could come to dinner" That she was someones wife.
A wife my daughters someones wife and in a few years she will be someones mom I cant even think of that right now.
There sealing was sweet and of course I cried.
I was so proud of both of them for choosing to be sealed in the temple for all time and eternity.
She made her Father and I so proud.
Dale couldn't quit smiling he was just so happy.
Me on the other hand had a hard time letting go.
The Temple matron said something that I will never forget she told us this was a new step in our relationship.
We are no longer just mother and daughter we are friends. My job is done concerning teaching her right from wrong and now I just get to hold her hand and listen to here when she needs advice.
I am having a hard time with tears right now so I will continue my thoughts tomorrow.

So do any of you have good advise to give to me that have already walked in my shoes, or maybe you all might have some good advice that you wish your mother did or did not do after you were married/


Cherie said...

It is true. My daughter and I have always been so close but when she got married 2 years ago our relationship change. We are still very close but we are best friends and I love that!!
The one piece of advice I think I could give is to respect your daughter and her husband as adults and don't give advice unless it is asked for. They have to find their way!

Elise said...

Congrats on gaining a new member to your family!! You will get use to all this soon. Some thoughts or advice that I have from my experiences with my mom and MIL...treat your SIL like your own son - get to know him, understand his background and upbringing (not something my MIL has done and we have a very strained relationship) and love him unconditionally; give advice when asked for but support them in all their decisions, even if you don't agree - it's their turn in doing everything their way; visit and be a part of their lives but know when enough is enough - no stopping by unannounced, etc.; let them struggle on their own no matter how much it pains you, they will be stronger for struggling. Good luck with this new phase!!! You will know what to do!! Hugs.

Tonya said...

I know that when I got married almost 11 years ago now that my mom took time out for herself. She was burning music to cd's for the ceremony and I was sleeping. She was up all night working on it, but not because it took that long. It was her moment to reflect and remember me as her little girl, to watch me sleep, and to put her heart into everything to make me happy on my wedding day. Her way of giving me her blessing. I know it was not easy for her as she and I sorta raised each other. We've always been more friends than mother/daughter, but I know during her reflections she thought of all those "first's" that she experienced with me. My first word, step, cry, laugh, food, haircut, day of school, prom, boyfriend, and more. My mom took time out for herself and you should too. Allow yourself to cry. Reflect - it will bring you wisdom. My mom has never stepped in where she didn't belong, but she is always there when WE need her.

Yarni Gras! said...

you'll do fine......just breath....

The Dean Family said...

The first bit of advice my mom gave to me as a newlywed, "Don't call home everytime you have a problem. You two are married. You two have to work it out, together." Best advice ever! Taught me that indeed, issues between two people are best resolved between those two people. Of course, my mom has always been there for both of us in the 20 years we've been married...but as a couple.

Just my thoughts :)

Tulsi said...

One thing we have done since my oldest daughter got married 2 1/2 years ago is have dinner the third Sunday of every month. We see them more. Especially since my granddaughter was born a year ago on the 4th of July. But we are in the habit of doing that now and it is great. I wanted to develop this so that when my other two kids (one on a Mission currently - the other a Jr. in HS) get married, it isn't something that is hard to work in. Our family is extremely close and talk about everything. My son in law loves that about our family. No subject is off limits and we just talk, listen, offer what ever they need. And I love that my daughter is still as goofy and fun as she always has been. She's grown as a wife and mother, but her family is going to be somewhat like the family she grew up in. So my advise is to set a time to be together no matter how busy the month or days get. Plus you really get to know the son in law that way, too. In a different way than just the norm.

Ann Marie said...

Such a sweet post!
I don't even want to think about this day yet! Maybe in 15 years? lol!

I love her hair.. and wait.. your on Facebook? I'm going to look for you!

Ande said...

My parents refused to just pop in at our house after we were married, it was funny, but nice, they wanted to be invited and didn't want to invade our space. Of course once Xanen came all bets were off. LOL

Tulsi said...

I still always call my daughter before going to her house. She was almost 21 and Shane was almost 24 when they got married, but we always call. Still. They just pop in. Brie will call some times, but for the most part, they just come over. Steve sometimes calls his parents if we go over or sometimes just pops in. I prefer it when he calls.