Friday, December 30, 2011

^6^ years ago!

We love you William Sotone wall Wilderness!
Untill we meet again!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Together again.

8 years a go yesterday Dec. 27th my Beautiful Grandmother Madeline Peterson past away.
Her death was really hard on me and I miss her still I know she is with her loved ones including my son and she often visits me.
I know my Grandfather has missed her the most he loved her so much and her death was very hard on him.

He thought the world of her and talked often how beautiful she was.
Today they are together again.

I can only imagine the joy they there meeting was and wish I could have witnessed it.
I love you Grandpa and Grandma Peet.
Until we meet again.

Christmas at the Wilderness family!

Christmas was fun this year Dales parents came up.
We were missing my 2 oldest girls it was a little weird with out them.
The kids were spoiled Dale and I were spoiled.
I loved the homemade gifts the best Kadie made me a wonderful collage of pictures of her wedding .
I also got another Christmas surprise that is kinda weighing heavy on my heart.
I was not expecting this and I am still processing the surprise.
I will share it later when I am ready.
I hope every one had a great Christmas!

I have a lot of fun plans for the new year and I cant wait to share them so stay tuned It will be fun!!


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas eve!!

Merry Christmas Eve from The Wilderness Family!!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Williams 6th Birthday!

This year Williams birthday was really hard it started the night before when I took out his baby book and started looking at his pictures.
Looking through the pictures brought back so many emotions of the day he was born.
After I had a good cry I went on FB and nurse Molly that delivered him had wrote me a message.

She told me she still displays this picture in her living room.
She was an amazing nurse and I will always remember the love she gave our family that day.

This is probably my most favorite picture taken the day he was born.
I love how gently and tenderly Shelly is holding him.

I love that I have these pictures and I love looking at them.
I just wish there was more.
I cried a lot on Williams birthday and I felt a grief that I hadn't felt in a long time.
I just was not expecting to feel such hurt and pain.
I know that family's can be together forever and I know I will see William again but some times knowing this will be a long time form now hurts.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Christmas after William

I am not going to lie I was dreading Christmas 2006.
I new I would probably have to fake the Christmas spirit for the sake of my kids.
2006 was a big year for us we started the year out burring William.

Then moving in June from the place we lived the last 6 years.
We loved Travis AFB and had many friends and friends that were family there.
I honestly did not want to move to Alaska.
I hated it there at first I was lonely and every thing felt foreign to me.
I made a few friends early on and tried to be happy.
When November came along I was a mess.
Garrett was baptized and that was great but I was still so sad.
I did not want December to come I dreaded the 14th Williams first birthday.
I decorated tress I decorated our beautiful home and I made cookies all the things that were needed to make the Christmas season fun.
The day before Williams birthday I found my self at the church my friend Kristy was setting up for the Nativity display they had done for the last 5 years.
I had no clue what was going on but went to help her.
I was so sad knowing that the next day was Williams birthday but the moment I stepped into the church something magical happened.
I felt a peace that I had not felt in a long time.
Everyone was so busy and happy doing there part to make the nativity what it is.
I got caught up in the spirt like everyone else.
I remember looking at all the Nativity's in awee.
It helped me get over the deep depression I was falling into and helped me cope with the Christmas season.
I felt the peace and comfort only the holly spirt can give you and I felt the love the savior had for me.
He new he new my suffering and felt my pain all those many years a go in Gasemmene.
I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life and I am grateful for that Christmas miracle I had that day.
The next day my sweet friend Chaure came over with 17 balloons for me and my children in Honer of the 17 days William was alive.
It was so sweet of her.
We were also blessed with the 12 days of Christmas that year.
My sweet friend Lila and here family will never know how much that cheered our family up that year.
Even though life was hard Christmas of 2006 I was so blessed with the spirt of Christmas.
Later on I will share how I let the spirt of Christmas in 2007 it was the first of many years that I did this tradition.
Williams Birthdays presents.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Our Christmas Baby.

April 24th 2005 I found out I was expecting our 8th Child a few weeks later I found out my due date was Christmas day.
To say I was trilled would be an understatement.
A few days later I found out Dale was leaving for Iraq.
I was still in great spirts thinking of how awesome Christmas would be with a brand new baby.
I remember going through the months waiting to find out if we were having a boy or a girl.
I like to be prepared so I was also thinking of things to get and do during the Christmas season.
As the end August drew near I was on pins and needles waiting to find out what we were having.
I remember clearly going in for my sonogram I was so excited..
Then we found out we were having a boy and that he would be special.
The news of Williams heart defect and extra 18th chromosome was hard to take and the fact that William would die.
I wanted Christmas to be even more special.
Evey day leading up to December 
 was hard but we all had a good attitude.
I remember December 1st my sister and I went to Target with Mr. Benny boy and I felt William kick I remember feeling the joy of the moment.
Throughout the next 14 days amazing things happened in our home.
we had surprise gifts left at our door step and treats delivered I felt the love of the Christmas spirt, the love of those I let in my life.
The day before William was born Madeline's Class collected every thing we would need for Christmas dinner and surprised our family.
I was deeply touched.
That same day was my friend Kim's birthday she chose to spend the evening with me in the hospital keeping my spirts high.
A little while later my Dear friend Valarie brought my best friend in the world straight from the airport to my hospital room to cheer me.
Our Christmas baby's birthday was here it was a fun and happy morning.

Things were going slower than we wanted.
Then William was born his birth was truly a miracle.
He had a rough first day but was ready to go home the next day.
24 hours after Williams birth we brought him home to happy brothers and sisters and Grandparents cousins and friends.
I was a bit scared at first but did not want to spend what time I had with William with fear so I let all my worries go and lived in the moment.
The next 10 days were magical we had so many people drop by to meet William and bring him gifts.
I kinda felt like Marry as the wise men came to see our savior and brought him gifts.
I loved sharing William with those around us those who loved us.
Christmas day came and I decided to bring William to Church.
I was a little scared and worried about the germs.
I remember holding him as our friend Sheldon sang the most beautiful song Oh holly night my favorite Christmas Hymn ever.
William kept his eyes open the whole time once Sheldon was done singing William closed his eyes and slept the rest of the Sunday meeting.
I knew then that William
chose who he wanted to sing at his funeral.
The rest of that Christmas day was pure magic.

William lived for 5 more days.
We were so blessed to have him for Christmas that year and I will for ever be grateful for the love and kindness our friends and family showed us.
The spirt of Christmas shone bright through all the eyes of everyone that served our family that year.
It was the perfect Christ and it defiantly topped the year before.

I am not going to lie I really dreaded the Christmas season of 2006.
I will share tomorrow how that year changed my life yet again.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Finding the spirt of CHRISTmas.

For years I dreaded the Christmas season it always drove me nuts at how everyone was caught up in the commercial side of Christmas.
I felt the magic of Christmas was gone somehow.
I remember feeling sad Christmas season of 2003 my grandmother was dying and I just did not like how everyone was rushing around buying gifts hearing ho ho ho and seeing all the gilts of commercialized Christmas I just felt bugged.
a week before Christmas a girlfriend of mine asked if she could come over so I could show here how to make doll clothes for her daughters twin dolls I said sure.
After an hours lesson I realized that she  would never get them done in time for Christmas for her daughter so I offered to make doll clothes.
I felt a glimmer of the Christmas spirt as I finished the doll clothes Christmas eve morning.
In January 2004 I made a goal that I will find the magic of Christmas again.
I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to please help me.
In February I found out I was 2 months pregnant with Ben Shocked but Happy I thought boy Christmas will be exciting this year with a new baby.
I went thought the year had a sweet little baby boy Dale was promoted at work and life was grand.
As Fall approached I thought about how I was going to bring back the magic of Christmas in my life . I new service would be a big part of it.
For years we had picked a boy and a girl name of the angel tree and let the kids buy gifts for them. So we stuck with that tradion and added a whole family.
I also got some names of family's on the base that there husband or wife was deployed and planned special treats for them.
I was a little sad when I found out Dale would be gone from October until the first week 2 weeks of December.
I new I would have to do all that I planed on my own with my 7 little ones.
I was still excited and new this would be fun!
My in laws came out for thanksgiving that year and we decided to do all the black Friday sales together.
I will never forget this day as long as I live.
It was 4:30 Am I was the 96th person in line to get into the BX on Travis AFB.
Ben was sleeping away safe in his car seat and I was standing there with my in laws when I heard.
I hate Christmas time.
My heart sunk and I leterly felt tears spring into my eyes.
Inside I was screaming No! This is not the way I wanted to start the Christmas season. I soon began to hear a ton of people expressing what they hated about the Christmas season.
I new I had to put a stop to this I went into the middle of the crowed and a shouted at The top of my lungs I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
I love the smells of Christmas I love the feeling I get when my kids start making there Christmas list.
I love seeing all of Santa's helpers ring the bells.
I love the twinkling of Christmas lights.
I love how kind everyone is to each other.
I love knowing that we celebrating our saviors birth .
I love knowing that our solders still sever on Christmas day fighting foe our religious freedom to celebrate Christmas.
I love Christmas.
I finally stopped my shouting and realized the crowed was quit.
Then I heard clapping and cheering.
I walked back to my place in line a little shocked at what I had just done but felt the magic of Christmas.
My Father in law was wiping the tears from his eyes and said that was some speach.
I then heard I love Christmas Over and over and over the next half hour we stood in line.
I felt so happy People in line kept bringing me orange juice and Coffee (witch I don't drink) But was touched by there kindness.
I new they were caught up in the Spiert of CHRISTmas too.
Through out the morning all over town I kept having people tell me why they loved Christmas at first I did not understand why but then realized they had heard my speech.
I tell that year was one of the best Christmases I had ever had.
Dale came home from his TDY and we went to the childrens party at his work.
There was no one to play Santa so Dale did I loved that he did this and loved sitting on his lap telling his my Christmas wishes;)

The Christmas season kept getting better and better and I soon realized it was through service and my attitude that this was what CHRISTmas was about.
When January came along I thought again how can I keep the spirt of CHRISTmas going this year.
Four months later my answer was given a Christmas baby was in store for our family.
I always wanted a Christmas day baby and was thrilled that Christmas day was my due date.

I will tell you tomorrow My Christmas baby story.

Please feel free to tell me how you Keep The CHRISTmas spirt in your family.