Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Answering questions?

I opened an email to day it was one of those answer questions about your self and send it to everyone you know.
I looked at the questions with additude.
I am kinda in a sassy mood today.
 
1st question:whats the worst thing you ever done?
Answer: I am not sure. What kind of question is that any way.
2. question: what do you like to do in your spare time.
Answer: Read a good book and drink Carmel apple cider from Starbucks.
 

3 question: Are you happy in your relationship.
Answer: witch relationship are you asking about?
My one with God? My one with my husband? My one with my children.
Be more specific please.
These questionnaires always make me giggle because they are so silly.
Then I got to the 4th question?
What is the hardest thing you have ever done.
I don't know why but this question really struck me.
I thought do you really want to know?
seriously because it was really hard and not something I like to think about and definitely not the cookie cutter answer.
Answer: Held my 17 day old baby boy as he took his last breath.
It wasn't that it was hard to hold him it was just hard not to beg my Heavenly Father to let him stay.
I wanted to so badly but peace and calmness came over me and grace and mercy of the holy Ghost whisperer it's OK you will be together again.
I rember staring into his wide eyes as looked at me for the last time.
It was like he was memorising my face.
He took one last sweet breath as his spirit left his body.
Then all I was left with was his earthly shell his sweet 3lb body.
I held him for hours until it was time to wake and tell our children that there brother died.
I think that answered # 5 as well
What is the bravest thing you ever did.
 
Now that I have bared my soul I want to know what is the hardest thing you have ever done..
 
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7 comments:

GRAMEE said...

i think the hardest thing i ever did up to now. has been the death of my grandson,
seeing my daughter through it.

praying that someday they will be able to conceive again. they waited for 8 years for Kenner, then for him to be here only long enough to obtain a body and return to heavenly father. (2 hours).

Ter said...

I had one of those caramel apple ciders from Starbucks today. IT was really good.

The hardest thing I've ever done was well, it's a tie...

first, obviously, is saying hello/goodbye to my daughter at the same time. Never seeing her alive.

The second hardest thing I ever done was tell my husband it was ok and he could go... I couldn't bear to see him suffer any longer.... he died less than 5 minutes later.

*tears*

Yarni Gras! said...

The hardest thing was breathing when I found out Curly Girl (now 11) had been molested by a family member. I can actually remember that I was hyperventilating and thinking to myself "I have to keep it together" for her. My head was spinning. Even now, my chest gets tight when I think about it. I thank God for getting us through it then and STILL getting us through the rough patches she goes through.

Ann Marie said...

That cider sounds yummy-licious! I need to find a starbucks!

Your story about little William is always heart-breaking to me.. What a good attitude you have... you are a good example to many people.

Hard things?? Oy.. There is so many.. but I would have to say.. past abusive relationships..

Elizabeth said...

I love you. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings so often.

The Hardest thing I have ever done is Survive. I am a survivor and I like showing people that Yes you can move past stuff that happens to you.

Elise said...

Thanks for sharing. I know how hard that time was for you and you have had such a great insight into the Gospel. Truly inspiring.

The hardest thing I've done...watching my son, Matt, on life support numerous times and not being able to do anything about it and then, having to become a psuedo-nurse while he was on feeding tubes for 2 months. But the hardest of all that was waiting for a year to find out if he had celebral palsy or not. That was definitely the hardest year of my life thus far.

Brandi said...

I love reading your blog. I forced myself to do something normal tonight. And this is where I ended up. The hardest thing ~ it's a tie losing my father to cancer and helping my mom get through it and this time last week finding out that my 30 year old brother was in a tragic car accident that took his life. My stomach is in a constant knot. I don't remember feeling this way with my dad. I grieve for me and my mom. Thanks for sharing what you have been through it helps to get perspective.